Yep, that's how I feel. A total failure. I'll tell you why.
This week I put on 2lbs. Totally expected as I didn't stick to the diet and ate donuts, chocolate, pastries etc. So of course I put on 2lbs. But I went to fat class anyway to try and get some encouragement. And I did. But there is one aspect of group slimming that I find very negative, and it's all in my head.
I have to be the best.
This isn't just a slimming thing. It's a life thing. I had to get As at school - I used to ask for spelling tests in primary school because it was something I was good at (and then wondered why the kids hated me).
Week after week I've had Slimmer of the Week, even Slimmer of the Month, which I felt a bit of a fraud having as I'm breast feeding which helps with the slimming. I've now lost 1st 1.5lb in 10 weeks. Averaged about 2lbs a week. But on Wednesday a guy came to group, second week in, he's lost 10lbs. Do you know how long it took me to lose 10lb??!! And then my friend who I took to fat class, and I know has a much higher BMI than me, lost 8lbs in a first week. Fantastic for her! Really pleased for her. But I've failed. I'm not the best anymore. People are going to overtake me on my weight loss journey. I'm going to be going to fat class for ever and I'm always going to be fat.
I know I've hit my wall and I've got to push through it, and I am trying sooooo hard to get back on track and keep going. Tell me I'm not mad and I'm not the only one to feel like this?
I've started and failed at so many diets, when I got to 1 stone I thought 'Yay, I can do this'. Now all my negative thoughts about dieting have come back and I'm convinced I'll fail. I have to get through this wall. I'm not even back to pre-pregnancy weight. Somehow, I've got to grit my teeth and get through it.
On the plus side there isn't any chocolate in the house anymore. I've eaten it all.
Apparently it's Breastfeeding Awareness Week or some such thing. Anyway this occurred to me earlier and it seemed rather apropo. I love breastfeeding. It's the best thing in the world for me. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have it's drawbacks...
- You will never know if you've gotten pregnant again because your periods don't return for ages anyway.
- You will live in a bra for however long you choose to breastfeed for or sleep in a wet bed. Seriously - the only time you will take it off is to have a shower.
- Secluded spots will become no 1 on your priority list when deciding where to go. Unless you're the sort of person who doesn't mind flopping it out anywhere.
- At some point you WILL end up feeding your baby in a public loo. I defy you not to be in some restaurant/posh place where you really feel it is totally inappropriate to breastfeed.
- Be prepared to one day end up soaking wet - your nipple pads have moved or are just full up. And you just have to put up with smelling of milk for the rest of the day.
- Somebody, someday, will get an unintended flash of your boob. Can't be helped.
- Your baby will feed like an angel at home but when you are out and need them to latch on and stay latched on else show your nipple to all and sundry, then is when they'll decided to play the hokey cokey - in, out, in, out, shake it all about!
- Once your milk lets down, the baby doesn't have to put much effort into sucking - it tends to shoot out of its own accord. This means either your baby will have a sudden choking fit as half a pint of milk pours down its throat or it will come off your boob and your milk will shoot halfway across the room and hit your unsuspecting toddler in the eye!
- You will never look sexy. Breastfeeding bras are not glamorous.
- You will permanently have a one boob look. See previous point!
- Breastfeeding a teething baby hurts!
- Your last breastfeed will make you cry. Whatever the reason, nothing is more emotional and sad than stopping breastfeeding.
For all that - for me, it's the best thing in the world and I wouldn't change it for anything. But I do wish I'd been warned!
I had a really positive post last week and I felt fantastic. This week has not been so good. I lost 2lbs last week, which was brilliant, but then set myself the large goal of 3.5lbs for this week which was not achieveable for me this time and the more I felt myself failing the more depressed I got and fell into a vicious spiral.
I've got bored with cooking. I do every so often. And I get so fed up of making 4 different lunches - something for baby, sandwiches for the kids, something for He Himself and then something for me so I've been living off Mugshots which, while low cal, are not the most filling of meals. I also somehow managed to run out of fruit (the kids ate all the apples - grrrrr!) and I didn't have any cold meats in to bulk out my salads. So I've been hungry and fed up and bored and as a result have had a catastrophic fail. I'm really not looking forward to getting on the scales tomorrow.
You know how you have a goal in your head for where you want to be next? Well mine has been to be into the next stone on my scales at home. I should have reached that this week and I haven't so have felt like giving up.
So what am I going to do about it? Well, I'm going to stuff the kids full of the donuts that are sitting around the kitchen, ignore the white pappy bread, write a meal plan, put some jacket potatoes in the oven for lunch and buy some fruit and cold meats. Hopefully that will keep me going over the next few days and get me back on track. I'm also going to go back to writing a food diary so hopefully my #MumenTum post next week will be a bit more cheerful!
Today I got on the scales at Slimming World and I have finally reached my 1 stone target (and a bit).
I am soooo happy because I've done Slimming World many times before, and the diet works but I don't! So I've never achieved a stone weight loss before, even tho I've always had at least 2 stone to lose.
When I first started going this time I was scared as I needed to lose 2 stone just to get to the overweight that I was before I got pregnant. And never having lost a stone before I wasn't sure I could lose 2! But somehow it's clicked this time (I've realised that Slimming World isn't magic, it's all about calorie control and as long as I keep that in mind I'm ok) and the weight is coming off! Ok, breastfeeding is helping but I am so proud of myself and am prepared to keep on going!
I was recently sent a Gtech Germguard Power Sweeper to review and I have to honestly say -
I LOVE IT!!!
It's a fantastic product and is really helping me keep my home clean. Why do I love it so much?
Firstly, it's great for cleaning the stairs. It's cordless so you don't have to stop halfway and unplug it from the landing and plug it in in the hall. Also, the long handle is detachable so it can easily be used handheld - sooo much easier than lugging your vacuum cleaner up and down the stairs.
Secondly, it's powerful! I've had a handheld cleaner before and it was rubbish. It didn't pick up anything. With the Gtech, it picked up pretty much everything, as much as my regular vacuum cleaner, and I was shocked by the state of the tray and how much it had actually picked up. I mean I had only vacuumed the day before but when I used the Gtech Floor Sweeper on my tiny living room this was the result:
The ultimate test for it was when my son got hold of some glitter which he spread all over my bedroom carpet. The Gtech picked up all of the glitter very quickly, which I was really surprised at. I didn't even have to go over it with my regular vacuum.
I also love the fact that with the Germguard sweeper not only am I picking up dirt off the floor, it is also cleaning with an antibacterial additive - very important for me as my 6 month old baby is now crawling.
The Gtech is rechargeable and one recharge will give you enough power to do living room, hall, stairs and landing and a bedroom. It's lightweight, so brilliant for people who can't manage a regular vacuum cleaner. The collecting tray is really easy to empty - you just slide it out, empty it, then slide it back in again.
It's never going to replace your regular vacuum cleaner because you will always need your crevice tools and the collection tray isn't very big so you are emptying it quite frequently. However I keep mine upstairs to save me lugging my normal cleaner up and down the stairs every time. It's also great for having a quick clean up during the week when you don't have time to get your big vacuum cleaner out.
The blurb for the product says:
Peace of mind cleaning with the SW18 Germguard our exclusive antibacterial material on machine touch points.
Germguard is a ‘silver ion’ antibacterial additive blended into the plastic during manufacture and exclusive to Gtech.
It kills over 99% of bacteria including MRSA, E.Coli, Salmonella, and Listeria.
Effective across all floor types including pet hair removal and larger debris.
Additional features include patented edge cleaning wheel. Removable handle/visor for effective stair cleaning. Dynamic steering joint for ease of use and a low profile long reach for awkward under furniture cleaning. Easy to empty 0.5 litre bin.
The Germguard sweeper retails for about £45 but I think it is well worth the money as it is a high quality product.
I was sent the Gtech Germguard Power Sweeper for the purpose of this review but the opinions expressed within are my own.
Hello, my name is Jodie, and I'm a foodaholic...
I've had this post brewing for a while but then I read this wonderful post by Mummy from the Heart - I want to say goodbye and it inspired me to write about my own experiences.
As readers of my blog will know, I've recently joined Slimming World. I've actually lost count of the number of times I've joined Slimming World or started a diet programme. Every time I start a diet I can't wait until its over so I can go back to eating 'normally'. But this time it's finally clicked that I can never go back to eating 'normally'. Because what is 'normal' for me is unhealthy and not normal at all. And if I want to be slim and healthy, I can never go back to that. More importantly, it sets a really bad example for my kids.
I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I hide what I eat from those I love, I eat to 'treat' myself, I eat to comfort myself, I eat to reward myself. I binge eat. I've been known to buy food from the supermarket and because for instance it comes in a pack of 12, I will eat all 12 rather than just the 1 or 2 I actually want because I don't want anybody else to find the evidence, and its easier to eat the 12 and hide the packaging in the bin than to hide the remaining 10. This is not a healthy way to live!!
Somehow, somewhere, my brain seems to have made the connection this time that this way of eating is not normal, I will always be fat if I eat this way. When I've lost the weight it will be ok to have the occasional chocolate bar or cake, but I will never, and should never, sit there in the evening and eat 2 cakes (because they came in a multipack of 2) and a 200g bar of Fruit & Nut.
Fortunately, thanks to still breastfeeding, I currently can get away with the odd treat, but when that slows down, to continue losing weight, I will have to cut out the synful snacks and concentrate on losing weight. Yes it will be hard, and yes, I wish in someways it was an addiction like alcohol, because then I could give up cold turkey. But I can't give up all food, I need it to live, so I have to learn to be moderate and not use food as my crutch.
For the first time since I lost weight for my wedding, I've lost a stone without having a week of maintaining or gaining weight, so I'm hopeful that I might finally have got the hang of it - watch this space!
I have now added this blog post to the Mumentums linky!!
I have a parenting dilemma and am not entirely sure what to do!
Girl is 4 and a half, Boy is nearly 3 and although they love each other dearly and love to play together, their play is still punctuated by yelling, screaming and fighting!
Quite often they will be playing together in Girl's bedroom and all of a sudden there will be squeals or yells from Boy as his big sister either tries to make him do something, sits on him, or just takes something off him! My natural instinct is to interefere but if I leave them he doesn't come running to me telling tales, unless she's really hurt him, and soon the squeals stop and he's laughing at her again. He's a stocky lad so I doubt she could hurt him.
My dilemma is this: should I interfere as sometimes what she is doing is tantamount to bullying, or, as he doesn't feel the need to get me to interfere and will be playing again quite happily a few moments later, should I leave them to get on with it and accept that this is something they have to learn to work out and will be better people for it?
Any comments would be gratefully received!
PS: To date there has been no actual damage to either child!
