Hello, my name is Jodie, and I'm a foodaholic...
I've had this post brewing for a while but then I read this wonderful post by Mummy from the Heart - I want to say goodbye and it inspired me to write about my own experiences.
As readers of my blog will know, I've recently joined Slimming World. I've actually lost count of the number of times I've joined Slimming World or started a diet programme. Every time I start a diet I can't wait until its over so I can go back to eating 'normally'. But this time it's finally clicked that I can never go back to eating 'normally'. Because what is 'normal' for me is unhealthy and not normal at all. And if I want to be slim and healthy, I can never go back to that. More importantly, it sets a really bad example for my kids.
I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I hide what I eat from those I love, I eat to 'treat' myself, I eat to comfort myself, I eat to reward myself. I binge eat. I've been known to buy food from the supermarket and because for instance it comes in a pack of 12, I will eat all 12 rather than just the 1 or 2 I actually want because I don't want anybody else to find the evidence, and its easier to eat the 12 and hide the packaging in the bin than to hide the remaining 10. This is not a healthy way to live!!
Somehow, somewhere, my brain seems to have made the connection this time that this way of eating is not normal, I will always be fat if I eat this way. When I've lost the weight it will be ok to have the occasional chocolate bar or cake, but I will never, and should never, sit there in the evening and eat 2 cakes (because they came in a multipack of 2) and a 200g bar of Fruit & Nut.
Fortunately, thanks to still breastfeeding, I currently can get away with the odd treat, but when that slows down, to continue losing weight, I will have to cut out the synful snacks and concentrate on losing weight. Yes it will be hard, and yes, I wish in someways it was an addiction like alcohol, because then I could give up cold turkey. But I can't give up all food, I need it to live, so I have to learn to be moderate and not use food as my crutch.
For the first time since I lost weight for my wedding, I've lost a stone without having a week of maintaining or gaining weight, so I'm hopeful that I might finally have got the hang of it - watch this space!
I have now added this blog post to the Mumentums linky!!