I think this is something most mums can relate to. One minute you're staring at a little blue line on a stick in disbelief - next thing you're pushing a melon out of your wotsit - before you can turn around you're packing them off to school!
I can still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with the Girl. I'd waited 7 days after Aunt Fanny was due, followed the instructions, did the test, waited and... there it was. I was going to be a mummy!!! Today I received a letter saying she had been accepted into the primary school of our choice. When that little line appeared I never even thought of having to pick schools and uniforms.
Two weeks ago I had to put my moses basket away for Bug. Although she's only 4 months now, she was really too big for it (none of my kids are small) and she's now in a cot. All those vests and babygros I had lovingly washed and put away while expecting her have now been put aside for another baby (not mine, 3 is enough!). Even her 3-6 months clothes are snug on her. And it makes me sad.
With Girl, I always knew I'd have more. With Boy, it was unlikely that there would be more but there was always the possibility. With Bug, I know that my baby days are over. I have decided that my family is complete and I just cannot go through pregnancy again. We have our hands full with 3 under 5 as it is! So every milestone with Bug is the end of an era and makes me sad. No more newborn clothes. No more moses basket. It won't seem long before it's no more cot, and I'm packing her off to school.
Everytime she reaches a new stage obviously I'm delighted but sad as she grows and develops. And therein lies the paradox of being a mother. You want them to grow and develop - you would worry if they didn't. But at the same time you want them to stay that tiny baby that is so new and precious. It makes me sad. I want to cry. And I know that this will happen again and again. I think more so than the other 2 because this is the last time for me.
So I try to stay positive and look ahead. But inside I'm crying for my baby.
That basically sums up my life! Love my make up and nail polish but there is always a mess to clear up when you have 3 children! I have two children with autism and ADHD and I'm a single mum so there are always lots of challenges along the way!
Oh yes; my lastest is only a month old but already so different to that new baby and I'll never have one again - it's beautiful but heartbreaking watching them grow.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you have stepped into my thoughts of the past week as this is exactly how I have been feeling. Having a stepson and then my 2yo daughter and 6mth old son I too have decided that 3 is enough, more for financial and practical reasons but as my baby passes through each stage and grows out of clothes I too feel sad that my baby days are disappearing. He will be 6 months on Monday and I just don't know where that time has gone. I'm sure its gone faster with him than it did with my daughter. I'm already feeling sad for the day that my babies tell me they are leaving home and that's years away :(
ReplyDeleteIt is horrible to realise just how quickly they grow up, my youngest is 7 now and it looks like he'll be my last, I wanted 7 kids at one stage, not sure how I only ended up with two, but that's the way it goes, some things get better as they grow, but it's never the same as having that babe in your arms, staring adoringly into your eyes while you feed them.
ReplyDeleteI always smiled when people said to me "enjoy them while they're young" At the time I was desperate for sleep and nothing else! Now i see what they mean - mine are 5 and 3 and i want to stop feeding them so they STOP growing up!
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to see them growing up - learning, and surprising me everyday. I will always have photos and memories of baby days but i share your sadness.
xx
My eldest is 12 - my youngest 9 months - he is now passed the cuddly let mummy feed me stage and I could cry none of my 6 babies are actual babies anymore and it breaks my heart to even think of rehoming all our baby items x
ReplyDeleteAw I so understand this! Ive just had my second child he is 6 months now and im starting to feel a bit sad....hubby had the snip though as i was so ill!
ReplyDeleteLove this blog and am following, have a peek at mine if you can
Evey@polythenepram
http://polythenepram.blogspot.com