The Perfect Mother

What's this?! I can't believe it!!
You had a glass of wine?!
You just don't know what harm it will do
Further down the line!
(I am the perfect mother!)

You had an epidural, you say
You couldn't take the pain!
Gas and air is all you should have had
Drugs aren't needed in the main.
(I am the perfect mother!)

You really shouldn't use formula,
Don't you know that breast is best?
Look at everyone else doing it -
Why didn't you feed from the breast?
(I am the perfect mother!)

Postnatal Depression is for wimps
Just pull yourself together!
It won't do the baby any good
If you're in such a dither!
(I am the perfect mother!)

What is that I see?  A jar??!!
Really, I thought you would know
That homemade food that you've made
Is the only way to go!!
(I am the perfect mother!)


Yes I'm the voice that's in your head
Every day, and every night.
I'm the voice that's constantly nagging,
Pestering you to do what's right.
I am the perfect mother!


I'm the voice that won't be silenced,
That questions everything you do.
Why am I so hard to please?
Because, my dear, I'm you!
And I am not the perfect mother!